EVENTUAL - a 20-minute prose exercise
Here’s my 20-minute prose exercise for today. If you’d like to share yours, you can email me here. I’m working on getting a place to share them publicly (anonymously) on here if that’s something you’d like. If not, I’m happy to provide private feedback via email.
Not sure where to start? Read about the project here.
EVENTUAL
I’ve been reading through the books I have (paperbacks and audiobooks mostly) with some success. My current read is Stephen King’s Everything’s Eventual, and I’m not sure the title (or the short story of the same name found within) impacted me at all until today.
Just that word: eventual. Let’s look at it.
When I think of eventual, my brain goes to inevitable, but that’s not the entire meaning of the word, is it?
It’s merely the conclusion, the ultimate, final ending to a series of events.
The end of the workday can be eventual.
A conclusion to a long meeting, a marriage, a reign of tyranny. All eventual. Good things can have closing moments, too. Maybe it’s no mistake that when you return from your vacation flight you land at a terminal.
So, what is eventual for us right now?
You can think about it for yourself, but for me here’s what comes to mind big picture:
- The release of the books I’m currently writing.
- Down the line when maybe I can make my arts my full-time career path, one that I began as a child.
- Loved ones and friends grow older every year and somewhere down the line, just like me, will be turned to dust.
At some point, even the most solid tentpoles of our lives will, in fact, conclude.
I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer here but what about all the chaos in the world right now? How can we cope? Will this madness ever truly end? Will that eventuality be somehow worse?
Well, we can’t really worry about any of that, can we? Because we can’t control the world around us. We can’t control the people around us either nor should we want to. What we can do instead is focus on ourselves. If everything is eventual, if all things are impermanent, doesn’t that take a shit-ton of pressure off? Live each day like the eventual is about to happen. If you can do that, then when the eventual eventually happens, maybe it won’t induce as much panic or despair. Because we’ll be more ready, psychologically, physically, spiritually…
Now, of course, we should still help each other. Do kind things for the people we love. Stand up for what we believe in. Be a voice to the voiceless, etc. etc. But, by working on our own little slice of life and trying to put only our best foot forward no matter how shitty things might go from one day to the next, it’s okay. That strife will end. The happiness, too, but with every ending a new beginning arrives and we can only be ready for those new starts if we get up off the couch.
I believe that we are both connected to one another and individuals, and every thought, action or deed we do as individuals impacts the world around us. If I act like an asshole and ruin your day, that sends ripples through the cosmos and vice versa. Sure, sometimes we can’t fully help how we treat ourselves or each other. We do the best we can with the knowledge and tools at our disposal. This is why education and growth are vital (hello therapy). If I try to pilot a sailboat with no knowledge of how to sail, it’s likely going to be a very short trip around the bay. I could charter someone else to do it for me, sure, but it isn’t the same experience. If I start cursing Poseidon or something and demand that the ocean does what I want it to, well, that’s just going to be a bad time. We can command our own ship once we learn to sail, but we can’t command the sea, nor should we want to.
It's that self-satisfaction that comes with learning a new skill, from putting in a hard day’s work, from tackling the challenges that lay before us. We’re allowed to be scared and unsure of ourselves, but we have to do it anyway.
So, yeah, I’d love to not have a day job and just be able to write and sing and direct my movies and do all the creative things I’ve loved my whole life, but we have to put food on the table. It’s easy to be defeated and surrender to that idea, too, though, and we have to be careful not to abandon our dreams. I write every day on my lunch break. Usually more than that in the middle of the night, too. Get that workout in before you start your day. Take a minute to call your mom or take nice bath.
Make the time for yourself because time isn’t slowing down. Everything’s eventual so do your best to be your best and everything will fall into place. I don’t know, man. I don’t think there are any real answers to the questions we all want to ask, but maybe, just maybe if we do a little reflection and work on ourselves we can get to work and help each other. And just like that, my twenty minutes are up. Embrace the eventual. Be scared, but saddle up anyway.
